The duty of parents is not just to provide equal basic necessities like food, clothing and shelter to all their children; but to also provide equal love and environment that is free of any discrimination. There might be many reasons of discrimination. One of the children might be brighter than the others in academics or extra curricular activities or one might be better looking than the others. Whatever the reason for partiality towards one child is; the rest of the children find it difficult to cope up with the trauma of being neglected by one’s own parents. This trauma leads to a sense of inferiority complex which a person carries even when he is grown up. More than anything, a child needs unconditional love and compassion to bloom into a confident and matured human being.
In many countries like India there is one major discriminating factor. If a child is male he is treated better than his female siblings. This gender specific discrimination is more common in regions where parents are not well educated. The root cause of this discrimination is that daughters in these regions are considered to be temporary additions to the family as they will marry and go away to their husband’s house. Whereas, the boys are considered to be not only the inheritors of the family’s properties but also the ones who would shoulder the responsibility of taking care of the parent’s when they are old.
Looking from a broader and a different perspective, the reason why parents pay more attention to one child could be that he is not as good and efficient as the other children and parents pay more attention to him because they think that while others will find their place in the sun; the child who is not as bright as the others needs that extra push to be at par with the rest of his siblings.
Arun was a child who was always made to sacrifice not only his favourite belongings but also his time with his parent’s because his brother was a slow learner and his parents always ensured that he picks up things as fast as Arun does. The level of appreciation that Arun received for his achievements was far less than what his brother received from his parents. It was not because they were less happy when Arun achieved something but because they thought that his brother needs the extra encouragement to succeed like him. Arun’s young mind did not understand this and he grew up with a sense of sibling rivalry.
Now Arun is a successful professional whereas his brother is not even half as successful as he is. Their parents are old and expect Arun to financially help his brother every now and then. Arun helps his brother but not out of compassion, rather to just keep the words of his parents. His parents strongly dislike the hatred that he garners for his brother without realizing that they themselves are the root cause of rivalry between their two children.
His parents did not express their love to him the way he wanted them to express. Even when he is forty now; his wounds have still not healed. Out of fear that he might end up discriminating between his children just as his parents did, he is contented with his one child and has no plans to have the second baby even when his wife craves for it.
Parents should be matured enough to shower their love on each and every child equally. Instead of being too involved with the achievements or weaknesses of one child, they should understand and value the unique personality traits of all their children. This attitude would help in equal personality development of each of their children and they would build a very strong bond amongst themselves which they will maintain even when the parents are not alive.
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